but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
