She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize