I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
