sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We talked him into tasing himself.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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