I heard we made out
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
