Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
