I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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