There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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