Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
