absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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