I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
