Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
