so let's talk penis.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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