dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
