Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i out mim tonsoeep
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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