is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wish you could order shots online.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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