I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I know her cup size but not her name....
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