It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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