I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
