I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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