Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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