his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize