You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
