sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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