I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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