there's paper in my vomit.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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