if i can run in heels then i can drive
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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