what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
