Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
