i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
