im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
