we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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