At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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