I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
