Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
