please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
