just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
