umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
