i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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