he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
