is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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