Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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