Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
