I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
