It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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