so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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