dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
