you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
