too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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