and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
