you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
