this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
People with herpes should wear stickers.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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