I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we're chasing vodka with high fives
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize