talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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