Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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