she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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