when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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