Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
