the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
